I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
