Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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