Don't you send me to vm
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize
