It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Randomize
