I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
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