Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
