just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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