I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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