I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
