I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
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