ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
