There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
