Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
