nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
