is your mom at the bar?
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Reggie can tackle my bush.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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