meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Randomize
