i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
