My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
