Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
