cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
