I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
