I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize