They should really pass out barf bags in church
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
