Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
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