Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize
