Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
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i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
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I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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