he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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