she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
How's work?
Spinning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize