"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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