Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
