Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
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