I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
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Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
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They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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