FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize
