I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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