She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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