That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Randomize
