Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
