its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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