Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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