the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
