Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Randomize
