because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
