there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
