This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Randomize
