Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
