Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
false alarm. still invincible.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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