I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize