dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
