Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
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