yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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