another moral hangover. fuck.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
