Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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