your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
