My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Randomize
