My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize