she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize