Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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