SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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