I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are two peas in an std pod
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Randomize