I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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