i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
