You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
