Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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