new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
