you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
