I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
