You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
party gras won. party gras always wins.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
