Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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