I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
